Caring for a parent or a loved one is a difficult
job. Your duties as a caregiver become increasingly difficult
as the miles increase between you and your loved one. The following
are a few helpful tips in order to plan ahead in the event your
loved one needs your help, as well as ideas on how to become a
successful caregiver once your caregiving duties begin.
1. Have a discussion with your loved one. Years before the need
for caregiving arises, discuss ideas and thoughts with your loved
one. Discuss with them their thoughts on possibilities of relocation,
assisted living or nursing home care, and end of life arrangements.
Make sure all of their legal and financial needs have been met.
Talking with your loved one ahead of time will make them more
comfortable with the idea of needing help down the road.
2. Design a “Family Plan of Action”. Before the need arises, get
the family together and discuss responsibilities and divide them
up accordingly. Devise a plan to keep in contact with those members
who may be out of state by frequent phone calls, emails or set
up a private chat room on the internet for family discussions.
Investigate costs for care and travel expenses. Design contingency
plans in the event that funds run out, level of care increases,
and availability of family is limited.
3. Gather emergency contact information. Make a list of important
emergency numbers such as out of town family members, family friends,
physicians, attorneys, clergy, etc. To help preserve this list
in the event of an emergency, place this list in a zip lock bag
and store it in your loved one’s freezer where they keep their
ice cubes. Place a magnet on their refrigerator with a note as
to the location of this list.
4. Gather important documents. Locate important documents such
as social security card, Medicare and/or health insurance cards,
legal documents such as living trusts, wills, and powers of attorney,
all financial statements including life insurance information
and real estate deeds. Inform the family regarding the location
of these documents. Keep copies of powers of attorney in the event
you need to make health care or financial decisions from a distance.
5. Organize and set up a network. Contact relatives, friends and
neighbors who live close by your loved one. Ask them to routinely
stop by and visit your loved one, and ask them to contact you
if they observe anything out of the ordinary. Find out about community
programs that provide services such as meals or transportation,
and get them involved. Consider hiring a geriatric care manager
to help coordinate the care.
6. Make the most of your visits. Schedule and attend physician
appointments with your loved one when you are in town, and keep
yourself informed with your loved one’s diagnosis. Meet with members
of your network, and ask them detailed questions about their interaction
with your loved one.
7. Keep a journal. Take detailed notes of your loved one’s care
such as their progress, medications, changes in level of care,
recent injuries, personality changes, etc. A journal will help
keep the family organized, as well as provide helpful information
for the physician or other caregivers who might be involved in
your loved one’s care.
8. Be observant. Be aware of changes in your loved one’s personality,
their appearance such as lack of grooming or soiled clothing.
Verify that the mail is being opened and the bills are being paid.
Set up a consistent schedule for communicating with your loved
one, and pay attention to what they’re “not” saying. Remember,
your loved one doesn’t want to give up their independence, and
they may not always tell you the truth.
9. Re-evaluate the situation. Assess your loved one’s situation
and don’t be afraid to make adjustments as the circumstances change.
Don’t hesitate asking for help from other family members, and
investigate the potential for placement in a care facility or
hiring a full time live-in caregiver if the family and physician
deems necessary.
10. Care for the caregiver. Don’t allow yourself to get to the
point that you experience burn-out. Get help from other family
members, as well as take time for yourself. Maintain a healthy
diet and exercise daily. When caregiving becomes too much for
the family, and the level of care is beyond your immediate resources,
seek out other options. Don’t let your guilt get in the way of
providing the best care for your loved one, even if a care facility
or full time caregiver must provide that care instead of you.
Above all, remember to allow your loved one
to remain involved in the decision making process for as long
as their decisions do not negatively impact their health or safety.
Remember to discuss your concerns with their care in a sensitive
manner. Your loved one deserves to be treated with dignity and
respect. Be realistic about the situation, and in addition to
looking out for your loved one’s care, remember to look out for
your own as well.
About the author:
Torey L. Farnsworth, CSA has over 12 years of experience working
with seniors. Ms. Farnsworth’s vast expertise encompasses a wide
variety of senior issues ranging from adult care to elder law.
Most recently, Torey served as Elder Law Director and Paralegal
for a Phoenix based law firm where she provided assistance in
a variety of areas including long term care planning, estate planning,
ALTCS eligibility and Medicaid planning. Ms. Farnsworth is also
a certified caregiver with the State of Arizona as well as a Certified
Senior Advisor. Ms. Farnsworth has spent her career in senior
care as her family owns and operates assisted living homes.
Ms. Farnsworth currently owns her own senior care placement business
called Horizon Senior Care Referral. Her placement services are
free to seniors and their families in Arizona. For more information,
visit www.adultcarecentral.com
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